Diet Documentary Day 3 + Pics

Well today is going to be tricky. I've got a whole lot of anxiety about it. My grandfather just called me and asked me to work 1-5, then I'm going to J's. For whatever reason, he's decided he's going to cook dinner tonight. Fuck. He has never cooked dinner, not once, in the year that we have dated haha WOW. Hopefully I can just take over or something, but the unpredictability of it has been my focus since I woke up this morning.

Since I skipped dinner last night, my stomach was particularly flat this morning which made me smile. I still haven't weighed in yet though. J has a scale in his bathroom but its an old one and every time I step up on it tells me a number lower than what I believe. My ass and legs are killing me today, probably from that circuit work out. Today I'll focus on abs before I start to get ready for work.

Yesterday my dad drove me to work, my grandfather asked him and told me just before he arrived. It was the first time I've ever been alone with my father in over 3 years. He's picking me up again today and while I'm not super worked up over it, it makes me really uncomfortable. It seems so fake, like neither of us wants to address the elephant in the car.

Anyways, here's what today will look like, as far as I'm concerned.

Breakfast:
1 C Green Tea with lemon slices 0

Veggie Omelette
3/4 C Egg Beaters 90
1/4 Par Skim Mozzarella 80
1 Tbl Olive Oil 40
1/4 Red Pepper 5
Slice of Onion 0
3 Small Mushrooms 10
Basil & Spinach 0

225 Calories
12g Fat
25g Protein

Lunch
Blueberry Banana Smoothie
1 Small Banana 100
1/2 C Blueberries 40
1/2 C Coconut Water 25

165 Calories
1g Fat
1g Protein

Dinner:
Who the fuck nows. The hoop I'm in as well is the reason J says he doesn't cook is because of this ONE morning he made me eggs, and I ate less than half, complimented him and was done. He used real eggs, with a ton of oil in the pan, and cheddar marbled fucking cheese. How the fuck was I supposed to eat that? I get the gesture babe but you've seen the foods I eat, really. So for dinner tonight I'm really worried I can't get away with a smaller portion because he'll get all pissy about not liking his meal. I haven't had my smoothie yet and I'm so nervous about dinner I might forgo it... But I know I need something to sustain me over a 5 hour shift and the smoothie will give me instant energy. I've made it super low cal without hemp seeds or protein powder and I'll try to finish it just before I start my shift so it lasts me.

I've also decided I'm going to try and do this for 30 days straight. No binging, no purging. Lord help me. Here's some pictures of me in my new bikini I got yesterday for $10! I just ate my omelette so my stomach's pudgy.



love always,
loveylou