Diet Documentary Day 20

Breakfast
Green Tea w/ Lemon 0

3/4C Greek Yogurt 100
1/4C Strawberries 25
1/4C Pineapple 25
1 Banana 100

250 Cal
1g Fat
20g Protein

Lunch
2C Spinach 0
2 Slices Onion 0
5 Cherry Tomatoes 25
1/2C Black Beans 130
1/2 Orange Pepper 10
1/4C Corn 35
1/4 Avocado 50
1 tsp Olive Oil 40
2 Tbl Vinegar 10

300 Cal
10g Fat
15g Protein

Snack (pre-yoga)
Grapefruit 50

Vinyassa 1.5 Hours
(-450)

Dinner
1/2C Brown Rice 150
1/2 Floret Broccoli 20
1/4C Corn 35
1/4C Peas 35
1/4C Egg Beaters 30
1 Pkg Edamame 130
4 Mushrooms 20
2 Tbl Red. Sodium Soy Sauce 20
Ground ginger, garlic powder, cayenne 0

440 Cal
6g Fat
16g Protein

Snack
1/2 Cantaloupe 50

Total
1,090 Cal
17g Fat
51g Protein

Net Intake
640 Cal

Holy fuck. Note to self, read my own blog posts. Didn't I just say NOT to go over 1,000 calories?!?! My net intake is 640 which is low and my fat content is below 20g, looking at it most of my calories are coming from fruits and veggies which is good too. It's just that damn number I can't get over. Fuck, fuck fuck. I'm hoping the 4-5+ cups of green tea I've been drinking a day will boost up my metabolism!!

In yoga today I was off balance. Probably because I binged on ice cream last night and purged. I was stumbling on my balance poses which I'm usually quite strong with, being a dancer growing up. So that was frustrating, but there is no one to blame but myself. I need to quit purging.

Work stress is consistently climbing up hill with each day. It's so much responsibility, and there's all this pressure coming at me. My grandfather desperately wanting me to succeed in his foot steps and throwing me in when, in all honesty, I may not have been ready. From my boyfriend, even though he doesn't mean to, I do feel the need to keep up with him, and my competitiveness comes out in wanting to have just as much as he has, and a career is part of that. From myself, to fulfill expectations that I place on me in an urgent attempt not to disappoint those around me, stemming from my paranoia that everyone is watching me and waiting for me to screw up. Which I am trying to work on turning into ambition and motivation. I try and look at the pressure that I feel because of my boyfriend, as a sign from the universe to light my ass on fire a bit and get me moving in the right direction, to challenge myself and push beyond my limitations. I am invested in this, not only because I am good at it, but I really do enjoy the work. The fact that all of it will be mine one day is what drives me.
love always,
loveylou