almostalmostalmost

I leave Rome in 2 days, Wednesday morning and I'm out of here. Holy shit. So much going on in my head right now. How beautiful I want to be when I see everyone, what the look on their faces will be, what I will be wearing, how I will feel, what they will feel. It's overwhelming.

I want to be angelic, a ghost of the person they know, a shell of a body ready to become anything I make it to be.

Talked to Andrew yesterday, he got into one of his depressing moods, which by default I dealt with by joking around and trying to put a smile on his face. Experience has taught me this usually works and if I take it too serious too fast he spooks. The guy is like a horse holy cow. (ironic moment: my dad was someone I always had to tiptoe around, and here I am 'inlove' with a boy that I have to be extremely cautious and careful around, obviously for different reasons but still) The joking didnt take to well, so I pepped talked him with self esteem boosters, explaining how amazing I thought he was. Then I made an epic mistake. I talked about what happened at Christmas when I went home.
Recap for the cheap seats: I came home from Italy and surprised him, instead of being greated warmly with a hug and a smile and excitement I got a 'what the fuck' and then turned right back into Call of Duty without missing a beat. Needless to say, I was crushed.
I told Andrew last night that the reason I was so upset (duh) when I had come home was because I was so excited to see HIM. Above everything else that was what I thought about most, what I was looking forward to ontop of everything. That is how highly I thought of him. I didnt get much of a response after that.. great. But atleast I put myself out there and it gives us a stepping stone of sorts..right?
This is so confusing, I want a summer to be carefree. Not give a shit about anything, relax out in the sun and have the most fun possible. But I also want to him.
I want him to look at me the way he did.
I want him to look into my eyes and see exactly who I am.
I want to fall asleep feeling the protectiveness of his arms.
I want to see his heart skip a beat when he sees me.
I want to be the reason for that goofy smile on his face.


Why do I insist on wanting it all, knowing full well that I will be disappointed one way or another.
The only stronger want I have is more of the Need to be thin. Because I truley believe that both are in direct relation. Once I am thin, I will have his heart. But I am impatient and greedy and determined to steal it while I am still fat.

Ana please help me. I'm too far gone for anyone. Too inlove with him for anyone else. Too determined to be sick to be saved.

What do you think are some of your limitations? 

Emotionally, physically, anything.

Ana pushes us to our limit,

 and breaks the line we reach when we think we can no longer go on.

How do you plan on pushing your limitations, when you reach them?

"I Don't care if it hurts; 

I want to have control.

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul"

-Radiohead

Love Always,

Ana's Angel

xo

Eyesore

Hey ladies, how is everybody doing today? I want to try and make this blog more engaging, get some more dialogue going on, and recently I've been struggling for motivation.. So I'm going to put out a themed question with each post; today's being 'When you are pre/mid/post-binge, how do you bring yourself back to Anareality? I try and look at thinspo and Ana songs but now I can eat through all of that and I worry I am 'desensitizing myself to it all and just being put into a foodcoma. Do you keep lists of your thinspiration reasons? Do you look at triggering pictures or memorbilia at all? How do you deal?"

Today I am faced with a dilemma. First let me explain my morning. Tried to liquid fast. Ate a yoghurt. Liquid fast was shot to hell. We have no food in the house and all I wanted were carbs and cheese so I ended up making atleast 5 servings of rice with tomato sauce and parmesean, or rice with peseto and this soft cheese thing. Purged most of it up. I've been purging atleast 3 times a day for the past 3 days. My eyes are bloodshot and puffy, my back is sore from heaving, and the irony is, as I have my fingers down my throat, my hand feels smaller in my mouth. From the weight loss. I love that feeling, I can see and feel that change in my body. Is that sick?

But everytime I flush away my failure I head straight back to the kitchen. "Just something to soothe my throat, something to replenish my stomach acid" Cue Binge X2. It's awful.

The last few hours I've been good, just plums and a peach, I'm trying to eat alot of plums because I have no laxies here and that's the closest thing I'll get. 

But today is my last Friday in Rome. Next Wednesday I head back home. Tomorrow is my going away party, but tonight one of my girlfriends wants to go out and I am teetering on a binge, I can feel it. I'm too fragile to drink*calories* and then stay strong to not binge once I'm intoxicated. But it's my last Friday here. I feel obligated.

I think I should sacrifice this night to Ana, and gain strength for tomorrow. What do you guys think?

I honestly can't believe my time here is up. I haven't been home in over 6 months. 6 whole months. I can't wait to see all my friends, just writing this makes me tear up.. how pathetic, I miss them that much.

Andrew and I are on sort of weird terms.

Before Greece = Cool

After Greece = Not Cool

Why?

WHOOO KNOWS!

I'm worried he found out about me moving away for school, or it could just be the fact that I'm coming home, and he realized that I am a real person who will be infront of him and that freaks him out. He tends to pull away (emotionally distancing himself) when something starts to become a reality. Everytime I leave him, he latches on. He makes me feel so wanted and needed and we get along great. Then when I start to come home he freaks out, realizes maybe he's said too much, put himself out there too much and becomes insecure, so he pulls back. This could be what he's doing now, it could be a combination of things, it could be nothing. I figure I play it cool and easy, calm the waters before I land home and take it from there. No pressure. 

I have a lot of emotions going on right now, so I'm going to apologize in advance if my posts are quite scatterbrained. The leaving Rome part & going Home is like a teeter-totter in my brain, sometimes one weighs more than the other and I keep switching back and forth about how I feel about it all. Sometimes I guess, you don't need to make a decision, just to feel. 

I'm ready to stop caring and be cared for. I'm ready to live. I'm ready to have an awesome summer being the new me. I can be whoever I want when I come home. Stay tuned for tomorrow's post with the newme checklist.

I'd also like to thank Camille, ElBar7a & Cinnamon Brown for the birthday wishes! It means a lot!! 

Love Always,

Ana's Angel

xo

Miss Me?

Whaddup Skinnhy Bitches? Ready to here all about how amazing Greece was?! It was fantabu-wonderlous. The water, the sky, the beaches, the BOYS.
Let's take this chronologically, shall we?

I landed in Athens at 9 30 am about waking up at a godawful hour of 3 30 am in Rome to catch this flight.. killmenow-butatleastitwasworthit! Checked into my hostel where cute receptionist/bartender/tourguide/sailor boy and I met and then I set out to sight see. I only had that afternoon in Athens and went out to check in on the ruins, make sure they're there and sturdy and what not. Yup all was good.
Found out that the day after, was a scheduled protest/riot due to the economic crisis in Europe. Greece apparently was hit superrrr hard and the Greeks were not so happy. Scheduled ferry to Santorini. Not gonna happen. Met a boy the next day who was going to do this hike up to the highest point in the city, the mount were St. John the Apostle gave his unknown sermon to the Gods. On our way down we got caught in the middle of the riot.
Trust me: Getting tear gassed (as cool as it might sound) fucking hurts like a bitch

(picture I took in the streets of Athens, to the left is the parliament building & the tomb of the unknown soldier)

Anyways, I ended up meeting a guy in my hostel who was backpacking around the world for 6 months and extended an invitation to me to join. I said yes, fully following a horror movie script. (don't worry girls, he was a good guy) We went to Napflio which is stunnnning, camped on a cliff right on the beach and had an ocean view every night before we went to sleep. Here's a pic: 

We did day trips to Epidavros and Mikenese, saw the ampitheatre where you can drop a peppble on the stage and hear is as if it was right next to you even in the last row. (I can verify this for fact because we tested it) It was sick. Plus we checked out the archeological site of King Agamemnom's kingdom (super crazy guy from the movie Troy? know who I'm talking about) which was rad cool as well.

(me infront of the entrace to the palace; rocking the turban)

I did really good with eating the whole trip, stuck to veggies and some fruit the whole time, and sweat hiked my ass all over the place, I was content with the way I looked but still not happy.

Then as soon as I got back to rome the Binge kicked in. For some reason when I Binge, I do it in days of 3. I can't stop it for 3 days. It's weird. 

Today is the 3rd day and tomorrow I'm ready to kick myself back in. I'm almost there, almost thin.

My last night in Athens I slept with a rediculously hot English boy from London and he started making comments on my body. How I was 'fit', and he noticed the hollows of my hip bones, how they jutted out and made an empty space between my skin and shorts. How small my wrists were. It felt fantastic. Like all of this starvation was justified. That's my new motiviation. 

That and the fact that I'm heading back home in 6 days.  That's it. God I cannot wait. I'm going to liquid fast until I am home. Nothing but vegie soups, water, tea, diet soda. I can do this. I'm almost there. 

"I won't taste anything until I taste what thin feels like"

Love Always,

Ana's Angel

xo

Birthday and Travelling

Hey everybody, this is just gonna be a short post. I have really not been doing well the last few days. I just can't seem to get control. I feel like time is racing by me and I can't quite grasp anything and the next thing I know I'm staring at a sink full of dirty dishes with a dirty mouth and sore throat with no recollection of how they got there.
Anyways, today is my birthday. (Thanks to Cinnamon Brown for the shoutout! Love you girl <3 ) Totally didn't feel like it since I'm in Italy and all my real best friends are back home. Me and my best girlfriend in Rome got into a fight. Basically I changed around my birthday plans for her twice and she was a huge bitch and didn't show up to celebrate with me on Saturday at all. But I did run into two of my friends from higshschool here randomly travelling through Europe who came out with us which was nice. It's really made me miss home even more, seeing all the facebook wall posts from people who care about me that maybe I've kinda forgotten about but who still remember me and had enough thought to say 'happy birthday' made me wish I was back there just that much more. Soon enough, I know.

Tomorrow I am heading to Greece! I'm really excited deep down, somewhere. Right now I just don't even want to move.
I'm tired of travelling and
airports
taxis
ferry docks
luggage
passports
and the likes.
But I've always wanted to see Greece and so it's good that I'm going. Plus I'm gonna be so broke that I wont be able to afford food! That's a plus right!

I'll try and post while I'm away but I'm not sure what my internet availability is! Love you all!!!

"Stiffen up that upper lip"

Love Always,

Ana's Angel

embarassment round 2

Why the FUCK can't I just stay away from food?? I started off today good, I ate some scrambled egg whites, then a peach.. then it's like my mind goes blank and I'm staring at these empty plates of pasta and cookies and milk and thinking to myself 'What the fuck have I done?'
I look in the mirror and I am absolutely disgusted with my bloated stomach. I purged until I saw carrots, which seemed safe and I remember eating them vaguely. I am so disappointed in myself and I fully believe that when I eat, bad things will happen to me. I just got onto good terms with Andrew and I'm terrified that my binging will send it all down hill sometimes. I'm trying to use this as motivation but the half of me that is dying to be normal seems to keep taking over. I dont want to be normal! I want to be thin, and fantastic and wonderful. I want to be waif like with long elegant limbs. I want it so bad. I look around me and watch all of these tv shows and movies of the thin girls getting everything they've wanted, everything they've dreamed of and I know that that could be me, if I could just keep my fucking greedy hands off of food! I don't NEED it!
Everytime I want to eat I'm going to stare at my stomach and ask myself 'If I eat this, will it make me fat?"
Everytime I decide that I am allowed to eat something I am going to have it sit infront of me for 10 minutes to prove that I am not binge eating, that I am able to resist but am making the decision to eat something.
I will religiously do situps in my bedroom every night before bed, which will help me sleep better.
I will drink atleast 2L of water a day.
I will not exceed 500 calories in a day. I will strive for 300.
I will plan every meal, calculate every calorie, no freebies, before consuming.
I wil not let myself get away with anything.
If I binge I will liquid fast for 2 days to teach myself a lesson.
I am tired of being fat. There is this whole other thin angel stuck inside me, drowning in the lard and fat that I keep pouring down my throat. I am killing her, who I am meant to be become. She is dying because I can't stop eating.

No more excuses. I'm starting a liquid fast as of right now.
Water, diet soda, tea, and broth.
Nothing else. It's my body and I'm taking control NOW.

"Riot & Diet"

Love Always,

Ana's Angel

xo

embarassment

Hello ladies, I don't even feel qualified to write to you today. I binged out for 3 days in a row, I can't even handle the damage that is done. And I leave for Greece in 4 days.. I'm hoping to fast, but realistically I don't think that will happen. To go from eating obscene amounts of food to just water is not so practical.
I was literally eating when I wasn't hungry, forcing myself to eat out of self hatred. Purposely refusing to drink water so I couldn't purge. Because I deserve to be fat. I was making everything I had been craving, even when I did want it in that moment. Anything I could get my hands on. I was making excuses for why there wasn't any food left in the fridge. I have popped blood vessels behind my eyes for puking so much. I feel horrible about myself...

Today is a new day, I'm trying to forget about my failures and move past it. To know that my goals are still attainable. Nothing is stopping me from starting to starve again. And God how I am craving that control, how I am dying for my hunger fix. For me, feeling hungry is like a drug. I'm addicted to it. The light headedness, the dizzyness, the racing brain, floating in and out of situations; I love it. That's all I want right now.

Andrew and I have basically gone back to normal, almost. There are still certain topics we don't talk about, like what we've been doing for the last 6 months, because we aren't exactlty acknowledging the fact that there was something wrong at one point. He did ask me when I was coming home and I jokingly replied 'whenever you want!' and he had said 'oh so tomorrow then :D!' which made me feel as happy as a little highschooler with a quarterback crush. We skyped all last night and it was just so good to see his face. It put every other little problem to ease, it calmed ever nerve, every anxiety. I was so nervous about coming home and now I've just stopped caring. The people that don't want me there can suck my balls because I couldn't give less of a flying fuck right now. I know how many people I have in my life that love me, and are dying for me to come home and those are really the only people I have to spend time with. Anyone else is simply an option that I have the ability to say 'no' to; the same way I can say 'no' to food.

I'm gonna come home and wow them all. I don't even care about hiding how little I eat here. I'm not going to see any of these people again, and the family I live with does not give a crap. It's almost too easy. I'm not saying 'no' to anyone but myself anymore. There is no 'no thanks, I'm not hungry'. It's just not eating. Is it weird that this is somewhat disappointing?

I think I'm going to start ending each post with a quote; be it Ana inspiring or not it will be just a little personal touch.

"When you have so much to look forward to, it's easier not to look back"

Think Thin & Stay Skinny

Love Always,

Ana's Angel

xo

updates

Why oh WHY does your timeofthemonth make you bloat up like a balloon? I swear its like someone hooked me up to a gas machine and just inflated every part of my body. Even my eyelids are swollen! (though maybe that is from purging last night.. most likely) I hate it. You would think that my being this upset about the way I look would further motivate me to NOT eat but surprisingly enough, it just makes me think 'might as well eat like a tub of a lard since you look like one, people will expect that' . I could go join the Zoo (which is right by my house) and charge people money to go check out 'The Amazing Inflated Women!" Then charge money and use it it to go get lipo...
End of Rant.

Yesterday I ate quite a bit considering I was planning eating next to nothing and going to bed early. I had quite the early flight from Spain and then lots of trekking around to get home but I stayed up until about 10pm and ate the following throughout the day:

• fruit salad (mostly watermelon with some pineapple)
• small salad topped with tuna 1 cherry tomato and 1 slice of red pepper
• 3 bowls of veggie soup (water broth, 2 onions, garlic, 2 zucchinis) *the culrprit of the bloat*
• like 6 peaches.. haha
• 2 cookies with blackberry jam (purged)
• fruit juicesmoothiethin = 110 cal

So far today I've had

• 1/2 a cantelope
• 1 coffee
• some esparagus (don't know the exact measurement)
• 1 cup of a fruit smoothie I made (2 kiwis, 4 peaches, 100ml of pear juce)

then I plan on having some scrambled egg whites for protein, and heating up some tomato sauce for a soup.

Also I've started talking "Alli" because back home I used to take hydroxycut and it helped a LOAD but they dont seem to have that here anywhere in Italy. I don't trust any of the random noname italian diet pills, Alli is the only American one. It's supposed to help in the breakdown of fats I think? Anyways I just feel better knowing that I'm taking something. I'll let you guys know how the weightloss is going now that I've incorperated this in.

Do you guys take a multivitamin at all? I do just because I've heard that if you starve yourself your body can start breaking down the muscles.. so I'm woried about that and having my body not break down my fat. It's just a random multivitamin. It seems to be more of the idea behind taking the pills than it's actual purpose. It gives me peace of mind. Does that happen to you guys?

I've really started to adapt to this lifestyle.. it's beginning to feel like I'm not really 'dieting' anymore. This is just what I'm used to. The foods I used to love, I can't imagine eating them. I can't imagine myself ordering a pizza and putting it in my mouth. I can't imagine getting pasta and eating it. I just picture the weight of that food added onto my body like a tumour. I imagine the texture resembling warm butter and having it be just pure fat. Lard, and nothing else. Instantly I'm turned off food. This is what I felt like last year, when I lost close to 40 pounds and I love it. I miss excercising the way I was back then. I worked at a restaurant and so for 8-9 hours 5-6 days a week I was doing cardio. I loved it.

I've started to visualize more memories too. I see the clothes that I've bought and imagine myself wearing them and how waif thin I look. How 'bendy' I am. As if my limbs are so long and elegant they can bend like a barbie doll. I want to feel as light as air, floating, just hovering above the ground as I move. Angelic.


Replies:


Cinnamon Brown: Definately will! Thanks for all your support. Spain was beautiful I would highly recommend going to anyone! Hopefully the drama will pass and all will be for the better :)
Think thin babe!! xo

Gianni:  Thanks for your support! Hopefully it will pay off as soon as mother nature fucks off ;) haha I'm sending you love right back atcha!! It's awesome when we can all support eachother and bring eachother up no matter how much we might tear ourselves down, it really means a lot! It was really hard to stay on track over there, and I did feel a bit guilty about bein in SPAIN and not trying any of the spanish food but hopefully it will all be worthwhile. "Nothing tastes as good as Thin feels..." right?
That's crazy about your trip to Germany! I can't believe you lost weight..while you were pregnant too! Was that because of all the walking? Tell me your secrets!!!
Stay Strong & Think Thin, nothing but you can stand in the way of your goals! I know you can get there babe!! xoxo

I'm dedicating thinspo today to Alexa Chung. She's got awesome style, a fucking fantastic body and embodies the personality and attitude I want to attain when I am skinny.

Love Always,

Ana's Angel

xo

Barcelona & Bikinis

Hola Amicas!! I'm baaaaack skinny bitches!! Spain was awesome!! 

I'd like to give a warm welcome to my new followers! Peace & Love is being sent your way through cyber space :)

I've got lots to tell and on my mind. So quick, take a bathroom break before we dive into anything. 

First of all, let me just say that this vacation was meant to be a lie-on-the-beach-and-do-fucking-NOTHING! type of vacation. First day I get there... its raining. Not like downpour or anything but enough to be a bit of a downer. Deffs not beachy. I ended up meeting 3 other guys who were staying in my hostel from Italy as well, Verona (city of Romeo and Juliet!) so I was able to continue practicing my italian, pluuuss one of them used to live in Barcelona and since yours truly knows ha-nothing about the culture our sights of the city, twas quite handy meeting some *yummy* italian *doctors* to show me around :) 

(picture I took of the streets in Barcelona)

I saw a lot of Gaudi archictecture which was spectacular! (see photos below!) I felt like I was at the bottom of the Ocean with the Little Mermaid looking at these underwater castles. We also did a ton of walking so I'm hoping that burned a lot of calories. Thursday I was really good, I only had coffee and tea until about 10 pm when after I had been with the boys all day long they started to get a little shifty and I picked at dinner. Luckily, the Spaniards are big on TAPAS - appetizers that you would order for the table and eat together. So I had a bit of salad with salmon and bread with tomatoes. I did try the Backalla though to feel cultured. Friday I stuck to mainly just fruits (even though apparently there was some big ecoli outbreak in London which spread to Spain? oops!) and then found a Subway ( I know ) and ate nothing else. Yesterday I broke down a bit. I felt really guilty for not trying any of the spanish food there. I got calamari and fries with eggs? weird. It was gross, frozen then deep fried shit, nothing fresh. Purged it up. 

Today so far I've had a fruit salad for breakfast (watermelon mostly, with some pineapple) and a small plain salad topped with tuna 1 cherry tomato and 1 slice of red pepper. Then I made my delicious soup and have been having that throughout the day now that I'm home. 

It feels weird saying that 'I'm coming Home' when I mean Rome. Technically it is my home. My second home? Current home? Residence? What's the proper term here... I'm not sure. But it's good to be back. Im sporting quite the tan with slight pinkness under my eyes. Even though yesterday was the only BEACH weather I still got a lot of colour. God bless my Italian skin (only damn good thing my father ever gave me) and it's ability to tan. 

Bikini-ness was hard. I'm starting to get the shape of body I want, but it's nowhere near thin. I can see my waist getting smaller but that just makes the curve of my hips look bigger. And I've always had problems with big hips. (think old italian women who are pear shaped.. I have nightmares of becoming that) So now I'm HARSH restricting until Greece next week. I'm a sucker for greek food and it's going to be hard to keep things in check. But I'm hoping the daily reminder of wearing a bikini will help me. I'm not worthy to eat these foods. 

On the homefront of dramaland, I reached out to Andrew. Here is/was my problem with this. Him and I know eachother INSIDE and OUT. I know exactly what to say and act to move past this, but I wasn't sure that this was the right way to go about it. Both him and I hate confrontation. I am a huge procrastinator and can ignore the shit out of a problem until someone throws it back in my face and makes me stare at it. We both know eachothers flaws and faults, mannerisms etc. I know that if I was to message him with some sappy letter about how I've missed him and written about him and cried over him, it would get me nowhere. (Why is it always that when you put your heart out on the line it always just bites you back in the ass before leaping down your throat?)

But if I was to message him with a lighthearted joke and pretend that nothing ever happened, just as if things were back to normal..well maybe he'd play along.

He did.

I can sense he's hesitant, he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. His walls are up-way up. And I haven't had the heart to tell him that I'm moving across the country in September yet. I'm going to feel like shit if he lets his walls come down and we get back to a good place, a place where we were and I announce my moving yet again and it tears open this new wound. But it's also very ostenatious of me to just drop a bomb like this after we JUST started talking again. It seems like I'm ending things before they are even starting. Further yet assuming that he still gives a flying fuck. (which I know he does but he would have no problem pretending not to to save face) 

We've only spoken breifly a few times. He knows I'm coming home, he doenst know the exact date. He rarely would ask questions back of me, inquiring as to how I am or what I've been doing. The time he does I get overjoyed. God damn how deep I am into this mess...

Weirdly enough! Andrew's very good friend Sophie had recently posted on his wall something or other about Barcelona. ( I know this through shamelessly creeping him since he just re-added me back as a friend on facebook ) However I was unable to message her do to her privacy settings so I kindly asked Andrew to to so for me. He did but it seemed unnecessary by that point because that night I randomly went to a small bar with some people from my hostel, and low and behold who was outside! Sophie! It was crazy because I've heard her name hundreds of times, we know all of the same people, have over 150 friends in common, been to the same parties, knew who eachother was, though never introduced. So for her to just be there made the world seem just that much smaller! 

We got along instantly, went skinny dipping in the Mediterranean Ocean at 6 am, danced in the streets of Barcelona in the rain. It was soo much fun. I felt like I'd known her for years, and it was awesome to have someone to talk to about back home when we are this far away from it. 

This encounter gave me something new to talk about with Andrew, and so now that the ball is really going to start rolling *fingers crossed* with us talking again, I need to make sure that I'm super thin for when I come back home.

It used to just be the possibility and randomness of running into him and being thin, now there's no way I wouldnt be seeing him and I have to step my game up. Greece will give me some good colour, and I plan on doing a lot of hiking and walking around as well. Plus swimming!! Just takes some dedication and I'm so close I can't loose it all now. I can't loose it all now.

Really hoping I've dipped into the low 130's possibly even high 120's by now... if I was 133 lbs last weekend that means I should be 130 lbs to be on target with my weightloss.

Replies:

Cinnamon Brown: Thanks for the sites!! I'm trying to check them out now as I write this but my internet is being quite unco-operative. Astronomy/ Magic has always been absolutely fascinating to me, for some reason I've never dipped into learning more about it, but now I definately want to! 

This new diet you're embarking on sounds promising! I know you can do it, you've got control now, you can make yourself into anything you want! Totally know what you mean about now putting on weight evenly, my hips or horrible. I hate them. I know most of it is me over reacting, but i feel like they are so overly porportionate for my body, my face has lost a lot of weight, same with arms/shoulders, plus a bit allover, but my hips still seem to jut out. I hate it.

Hahahaha! Love the foot stomping, I'm picturing the redhead character from "Wedding Crashers" holding her breathe and stomping her feet with her fingers in her ears when her dad won't let the 2 guys come to their cottage. hahahahaha

I would definately love to chat! Throw me your e-mail so we can get more dailogue/support going!!! :) Plus we're on the same time zone so this is awesome! haha

Think thin girl!!!! xoxo Thanks for listening

Thin or Not: I definately agree with you, visualizing is a great way to achieve your goals. It's funny because I've always heard that, and I've always had a vivid imagination but I've never literally been able to visualize them. What it would look like, what I would be doing, what it would feel like; until it came to loosing weight. What sort of things do you visualize for yourself? Sometimes I even draw photos of dresses I want and what I want my body to look like in them. haha.

Gianni: Thanks for signing in! I appreciate your support! It's always nice to get compliments on your blog :)  Definately understand what you are saying 100%! I feel like if the worst people can say about me is 'shes so skinny' or 'she's a skinny bitch' then it doesnt even matter what insult is even being tried to be directed at me. Skinny people get away with anything (though if/when I get there I plan on using my super powers for good, not evil :P ) and people are always envious. It's the world we live in and I feel like even if isnt fair or right we have to play and learn the rules.

Stay strong and think thin girl!! I just checked out your blog.. jealous of your boobs!! Mine have started shrinking and I'm barely filling out a B cup, though I would imagine that maybe you'd like yours to shrink a bit if they are giving you back problems.. plus running around after 2 kids all days with a bad back is definately not so good. Take care of yourself! *massageeee* 

Love.Love.Love

Love, Always

Ana's Angel

xo