Momentary Haitus...

Well lots has happened since I've blogged last.. not a lot I would have loved Ana to watch.
I lost my internet for a week, and had a friend who is studying in Poland come visit me in Rome for 7 days.. she was with me almost every moment so it was really hard to hide how much I was eating. The first few days I was good, just ordering veggies, or a salad.. but she kept getting pizzas and pastas and lasagna and having it right there was so damn tempting... i splurged. I purged a few times when I could but eventually I thought..whats the point. Im a fat peice of shit anyways. When I binge.. I binge for DAYS. its so hard for me to get back on track. Does anyone out there have advice on how to wake up the next morning and get back on track? Also as soon as I purge my next thought is always, "what can I eat next?" GRRR its so frustrating.

I'm going to be back home (in America) in 53 days... 53 mother fucking days to slim down.. MAJORLY.
I seriously need some advice here guys, if anyone is reading this.. what's the quickest way to loose weight.. straight fasting or constricting?
For some reason I always find it easier to eat under 200 or 300 cals then trying to consistently eaet 400 -600. I feel like I'm being too generous with my fat lard of a self and start eating everything. As soon as I say 'yes' to something I would normally say 'no' to... It's like I think I can all of a sudden eat anything I want which is SO not true!!
Maybe I'll do a veggie fast for 3 days.

It's good/bad with the house situation I live in. As I mentioned I am an aupair.. which means that I live with the family I nanny for. So I get no say in what goes in the fridge. Luckily both parents are doctors so they eat quite healthy, meaning there are always veggies in the fridge to munch on. But we live in Italy, lets get real. The only type of 'protein' they have is cheese... as if I could eat cheese looking like this. Sometimes we will have meat for dinner.. which is usually some type of red meat which just has way to much fat in it. God, we don't even have skim milk for crying out loud!! There are only certain 'safe foods' here and eventually I get bored with them. Then I have to go buy my own food and waste my tiny tiny salary on that so I dont look like a whale.

It will all be worth it. That's my new mantra. It will all be worth it. I know I am going to see *Andrew this summer and I want to look my best. I figure if I have 53 days.. that is 7.5 weeks, if I can loose 3 pounds a week that is 21 pounds. Doable? yes? yes? yes? PLEASE SAY YES?!

In other news, I've been living and breathing art right now trying to get my portfolio ready for university applications. I've taken 2 years off so luckily my shitty marks in highschool dont count so much since I can apply for what is called 'MSS" Mature Student Status. Unfortunately I still have to jump through tons of hoops. It will be worth it though. I will be living on my own (well with a roomate) and I can constrict as much as I want. I'll be back home for Christmas a stick and show everyone just how much I am worth.
Who is with me?

Stay strong & Think Thin
Anas Angel
xo