124.4 + Progress Pics

Yes, you read that correctly girlies! Down a pound from yesterdays 125.4, despite my plan going slightly awry. I had a strawberry banana protein shake which took me over 3 hours to finish 270 Cal, then a giant spinach salad with yellow pepper, cherry tomatoes, onion, 1/2 pomegranate, celery, snap peas, spinach, feta and almonds. It wasn't supposed to include nuts or pomegranate or be that large in size but it totalled 350 Cal. My family then wanted to order in dinner so I got some Dragon Bowl mess thing with tofu, subbed cabbage & goat cheese for the rice and have no idea what that totals to. I've scoured all online for the nutritional info and all I can come up with is 350 Cal just for the goat cheese & cabbage ALONE, fuck. Then I had 2 bowls of fat free chocolate frozen yogurt at 90 Cals per 1/2 cup. Not awful but certainly not necessary... Either way it translates to a loss so whats done is done.

Last night I was seriously close to a binge though, I just wanted something naughty and salty and cheesy. I pulled out roasted potatoes my mom made the day before, and the cheddar cheese, planning to make a gooey melt to binge on. I put the potatoes in a bowl to microwave and told myself, "This is fucking stupid." I knew how upset I was going to be if I ate them. So I put them back. Cut off a few thin slices of cheese and went to bed. An hour or so later, I pulled out the nacho chips, placed them ever so carefully on a plate, grated the cheese, microwaved, added another layer, and watched as it revolved in circles to a meltedy gooey heaven. As I walk upstairs to my room to gorge I pass by my bathroom and before I even knew what I was doing I threw the whole mess into the toilet. "It was going to end up there anyways, one way or another. Might as well save myself the harm" Whewf that was a close one!

Fuck there is so much fat... My stomach needs a fucking substantial amount of work, pudge from the side, fat around my hips and layered on top of my belly... looking at it just makes me want to vomit, don't even get me started on my thunder thighs or my flabby arms. I can't look at these anymore.

love always,

xoxo