I'll Leave You, Without A Word

So things are starting to shape up a bit! I don't know what was going on earlier, it must have been water retention or something but when I weighed myself a few hours later I had dropped back to 128.8. This morning when I was completely empty I weighed in at 127.4 which I will gladly embrace! My next goal is to see 119.  I don't know why but I have this obsession with 9's. When I work out on the elliptical, before I can take a break I always have to get my calorie count to the 99 of whatever number I am on. Most of my safe foods are in 90 calorie categories, and my UGW is 99. Don't know why.

Today I've been good, and bad a bit.
Last night I ate more than I should, when I was high of course. Just lots of my safe foods but it felt like too much so I purged. Same thing happened tonight. At least it's out of my system.
I worked out and burned 700 cals in cardio on the elliptical
Intake:
1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese: 90cals
Franks Red Hot Sauce: 10cals
3 Peppers: 60 cals
ChocoBanana Kale Protein Smoothie: 250cals
lots and lots of yogurt and pudding and a veggie sandwich and almonds


But the funniest thing happened, I was eating cottage cheese mixed with yogurt and a handful of almonds, probably totalling around 300cals and Andrew popped up on facebook chat. I smiled to myself because earlier, I had uploaded a new profile picture and in it you can dramatically see the weight I've lost, but not enough to cause worry. As if I'm even there yet. I had a mini photo-shoot with myself today when I came home from class. I had gotten all dolled up for the cute guy, R* who never even came to class, so I took a few pictures to inspire myself.
Here's one of my favourites (yes this is me)

Anyways, as soon as he said hey, I put the spoon down, threw the rest of the snack away and started doing crunches. Like mechanically, 100 crunches, obliques, pushups, hip-raisers. I feel better now. He tried to flirt with me a little, and I smiled to myself, "Thank God, I still know you. I knew you couldn't help yourself."

Tomorrow I'm spending the whole day with my mom and sister on a road trip to do some shopping. Which means I'll be watched during meal times for breakfast and lunch. We'll head to starbucks for breakfast on our way so I can get away with just a coffee and splenda, and either a mixed fruit salad (80cals) or a yogurt parfait (300 cals) with the granola, which I wouldn't eat so that should make the parfait around 150cals just to be safe. We'll be home before dinner so I'll be around my safe foods at least.

love, xoxo