Harder, Better, Smaller, Faster

Today is a better day. I've been skipping dinners and meals because I've been so stressed. It's been working in my favour. I can clearly see all of my ribs when I stand without stretching. My thighs don't touch at all. And Honour Regzig if you are still around - I haven't lost my tits!

J and I worked things out. It's still pretty rocky and scary but we're committed to making it work and I really needed to hear that. I went over to drop off gluten-free banana bread that I made for his mom and things were really really weird but after talking late at night on the phone I feel so much better. I promised myself that if he wasn't through with me right there in that moment that I would give up gangja. The way I see it - it would have eventually caught up with me. If I kept smoking he would have found out theres no doubting that, if we move in together I would have to quit anyway, and realistically I don't see myself smoking for my whole life so it's really inevitable.

Tonight I'm going to to Andrews house and I have my black bikini ready. Well almost, I still have to find my bottoms around here somewhere. I'm not even an ounce nervous to see him. I just want to hit that reset button, thats how I feel when I'm with Andrew. This week has been so stressful I know I need some down time with someone I can do ANYTHING in front of, you know? Just not have to worry.

Anyway, right now I'm eating my breakfast omlette: 3/4C Egg beaters, 1/4C Part-skim Mozza, Spinach and sauteed onions Total: 225 Calorie 12g Fat 25g Protein. Don't really have much in the house for lunch so I'm hoping I can get away with snacking on fruit strategically timed throughout the day. Lately my Nonno (who I work with) has been wanting to have big sit down lunches in the meeting room and preparing things for everyone. I usually cop out and just have my pre-made salad but I'll eat with them. If I have nothing they will make me eat something. I'll have to pull some tricks out of my sleeve. But I know I won't eat. Not with being in a bikini later tonight. I'd rather die. Then probably a smoothie for dinner since it'll be a bit later and I'm lazy and it's quick. I'll post pics tomorrow if I feel brave. That will hopefully be enough to keep the binge away tonight after a sudden release of stress.