Tonights finally his birthday and I'm incredibly nervous. I carefully chose the restaurant, scoping the menu for things he would like and atmospheres he enjoys; scoured the internet for days looking for a specific motorcycle figurine he admires, shipping it in from Europe since it's a limited collectors item; travelled to a friends house in a desperate attempt to find anything that would hide the indecency that is my body and finding a darling sweetheart cream lace a-line dress that looks sophisticatedly sweet with a fitted blazer and pumps; did my eyebrows and gave myself a facial, manicure, and a tan.... But I have this sinking feeling that something is going to go wrong. The restaurant I chose is great for him, lots of different meat options from ostritch to bison to alaskan cod, and the only veggie option is a mushroom risotto which is no way will I eat. So a starter salad with a side of veggies is what I'll have! Then back to his place for champagne and celebrations...
So far I'm 1 day without purging. Yesterday was a fantastic day spent in the sunshine with my best friends. Started when Tina woke me up and took me to this cute cafe for breakfast. I had a whole grain english muffin with avocado, tomato and hard boiled egg with a side of fruit and lots of coffee. Then we walked along the beach for a few hours and met up with a few other girlfriends and relaxed. I didn't eat until I came home at 8, which was green rice. (whole grain rice with edamame, peas, and spinach with soy sauce) So far today I had a lot of coffee with almond milk, a small spinach salad with onion, pepper and cucumber with vinegar, and 2 tofu chick'n patties which totals about 500 cals. I will have champagne tonight but I've accepted it. Tomorrow I'll keep busy getting across town back home, with lots of excercise so hopefully I can make it 3 days without purging. My heart really needs the break. Randomly at times it just speeds up really really quickly and I'm short of breath. It doesn't hurt, sometimes when I'm stressed it hurts and feels like something is being squeezed tightly but this is different.
love always,
loveylou
he's going to love it.
ReplyDeletexx
Lulu
Breakfast After 10
You are so thoughtful and have gone to so much trouble
ReplyDeleteHe is lucky to have you
Hope it all goes well x
That restaurant sounds great; I hope you both have a great time! Your outfit sounds lovely too xx
ReplyDeletei hope you had a wonderful time and continued not purging. you can do it, dear. (:
ReplyDeletestay lovely. <3
Watch your heart love. Keep it going. Keep it healthy. Don't be leaving us just yet. <3
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