Getting Worse

So, saturday was such a fucking flop. After breakfast J and I ended up having a heated discussion about how he handles stress and takes it out on me. He spent a long while working on his car and couldn't get it all fixed and it really bothered him. Afterwards I asked for coffee and something to eat before we go out and he got all frustrated because I'm so hard to feed. I ended up having to give in and eat a lentil burger at this burger shack we've tried a few times. Normally I just get a greek salad and dab most of the oil off of it but J wasn't having any of it. He's really started to keep track of my intake, he even asked me ' Do you think I'm stupid or something? I used to body build, I generally know the nutritional info of everything. ' (yeah, me too sweetheart) Anyways, so there was that, which was on a plain toasted WHITE bun (FUCKFUCKFUCK) a huge lentil patty (made in house, organic - no idea how many cals) with salsa, cucumber, bean sprouts, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and banana peppers. THEN we went out for cocktails and drinks and I ordered the marinated tofu skewers and it came out DEEP FRIED.

So yesterday I felt like shit. J and I went to the gym for 2 hours which made me feel better. I burned 400 cals on the elliptical, and then J put me through some weight training routine. He saw how much I burned on the machine and how hard I was going and said, "You haven't even eaten that much today." Now I am so fucking sore. So normally I'd be optimistic about losing some after going to the gym for that long, but in reality with all the food and booze I had over the weekend I'm probably just maintaining at 112. I had probably 1/2 of this gross recovery shake J MADE me drink, and breakfast was 1/2 orange, 1/4C walnuts and a banana. Then we went to my house for dinner with my mom and her boyfriend and I had 1/2C Brown Rice, 1/2 Tofu, sauteed veggies and soy sauce.

So whatever, it is what it is. Todays a new day. Not knowing my numbers is just anxiety-central.

Breakfast
3/4C Egg Beaters 90
1 Light Mozzarella Stick 60
1/2C Spinach Basil 0

150 Cal
5g Fat
25g Protein

2.4K Walk
-100

Snack
Apple 50

Lunch
1/2C Brown Rice 150
1/2 Tofu 60
1/2 Floret Broccoli 20
4 Sauteed Mushrooms + Veggies 80
1 Stalk Celery 0
4 Tbl Soy Sauce 40

350 Cal
10g Fat
20g Protein

Dinner
1 Banana 100
2 Scoop Protein 110
3/4C Almond Milk 30
1C Frozen Berries 70

310 Cal
2g Fat
28g Protein

Total
860 Cal
17g Fat
70g Protein

Hopefully this is enough of a 'recovery' day. So I can stretch it all out on the matt tomorrow with fresh muscles and a clear mind. I've got another serving of carbs, high protein and lots of veggies and fruit + fibre. I barely slept last night either, so now I feel even more like shit. Here's hoping I can make it through the day with the evil-bat.